


Agitation

by Frnkenstein



Category: Belldom - Fandom, Muse
Genre: Angst, M/M, non-au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-09 01:30:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4328583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frnkenstein/pseuds/Frnkenstein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt's wrestling with some feelings he's repressed for WAY too long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, so I haven't wrote fanfiction in AGES and really wanted to exercise my writing muscle so PLEASE tell me what you think and whether or not I should write more :^)

Matthew Bellamy stood at his hotel room floor to ceiling window with a glass half full of hard liquor in his hand looking perplexed into the night. His perplexion had caused the tidiness of his previously deftly sculpted hair to suffer as he had been running his hands through it for hours on end. He had been pretty close to tearing it out, in fact. This anxious behaviour had been a common occurrence every now and then for Matt over the past 2 decades but had previously resurfaced in the past few weeks and it was driving the man insane.

His hotel room was completely dark and only the brazen lights of the hedonistic, bustling and humming night time city below illuminated his scrunched up face of repression, which was full of confusion, apprehension and borderline emotional defeat.  
There was certain things in life that you can’t ignore, Matt realised. If by some sort of freak weather occurence a tornado swept through his Devon house and completely destroyed it and his belongings he couldn’t ignore it any differently than the other type of tornado that had swept through his life. This tornado, although it hadn’t done any damage yet, had the capacity to destroy his life perhaps even more than an actual tornado. This metaphorical tornado was called love.

Or better yet Dominic Howard.

His relationship (friendship) with Dominic had always been spectacular. They had been the best of friends, and been in their band with worldwide success, Muse, for what seemed to be a lifetime and those years of friendship harboured a few sexual encounters with one another; mostly experimental and naive adolescent fumbles which never lead onto anything or drunken- very drunken- nights of passion on tour in their adulthood. 

Once these encounters happened they were never discussed. Life proceeded as if nothing happened and it surprised Matt just how easy it was to still feel un-awkward around his best friend. His best friend who he had dry humped on multiple occasions in his Teignmouth bedroom or given a quick hand job to behind his drum kit after an apparently particularly arousing Rocket Baby Dolls rehearsal. As for their adult endeavours, well the memories of them were blurred and fragmented. Maybe that’s why they were never spoken of. Maybe neither one of the men accepted them to have really happened.

Matthew wished deeply that he could pretend that Dom’s sexual encounters with various females he witnessed the public beginnings of never happened, but he couldn’t. He subconsciously thought that Dom would desire and only desire Matt if he had done so once before and as Matt had a fiancée and child with the said fiancée it was very very hypocritical and selfish of him to think so. 

And this is why Dominic Howard was potentially very dangerous to Matthew Bellamy. 

***  
It was mid-afternoon and Dom was dressed gratuitously even for the dwindling heat of late summer. Clad head to toe in black and donning a heavy leather jacket and mirrored Ray Bans he exerted the cool Devil-may-care feel which Matthew knew wasn’t Dominic. It was an act he put on, an exterior he built like an edifice to protect him from the world. Matt wished he had such an edifice but his emotional architecture was to be frank, a tad shoddy.

Dom had been withdrawn for a week or so now, Matt had noted and Matt had been torturing himself wondering why. It frustrated him that he had been friends with this man long enough to know when he was troubled by something but he still could never quite work out what it was; he lacked the empathetic capacity. Dom, the charming and loveable bastard he was, had this in bundles. Matt was often conscious that that’s where his short comings lied as a lover. In the bedroom department he encountered few complaints, but he didn’t have to do much digging about in his dimly lit memory to remember the key reasons why him and his previous girlfriends parted ways.

(‘You just never listen to how I’m feeling, it’s all about you, all the damn time’)

(‘It’s like you just don’t care most of the time, Matthew’)

(‘You self-absorbed prick’)

Maybe this was why Dom didn’t follow up any of their sexual exploits. Maybe this is why Dom didn’t love Matt. Maybe, emotionally, he wasn’t enough for Dom. Normally, Matt wouldn’t have minded being reduced to a good shag but that was part of the problem- and these are the thoughts that had haunted him and built up in a sickly and frustrating manner in the man’s stomach.

The whiskey from the night before combined with a cocktail of insomnia and the unrelenting brightness of the Parisian sun was giving Matt and acute headache, which perhaps made him even less eager than Dom to go on this needless band-outing. Chris was the only one left standing with any enthusiasm to go sight-seeing. 

‘Come on, guys! Don’t you fancy being touristy instead of locking ourselves away like always? It’s unhealthy’ 

Whether it was healthy or not, the only place Matt wanted to visit was the corners of Dominic’s mind to find out exactly where he stood and why he had practically been ignoring him- and everyone else- all tour.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I just decided that this fic is probs just going to be some short, smutty angst. Might include a bit of fluff at the end but who knows. Please let me know what you think, the next installment should be with you shortly :-)

Despite Matt’s various attempts to banter with him, Dom’s glacial attitude refused to thaw out for anybody. Matt gave up after a while and kept to himself, and with nothing to take his mind off his splitting headache he spent the rest of the outing looking pained. It didn’t help that Kate rang him and he felt the need to put on a happy act and indulge her with the pet names ‘babe’ and ‘love’ which he really couldn’t be arsed with. Plus, he wanted to minimise the wrong messages he sent out to Dom. Well, he argued with himself over how much point that would have but he still felt weird being all lovey dovey with his fiancée in front of the man he was currently projecting the best part of his sexual and romantic desires onto. 

He still couldn’t believe he was thinking and feeling these things and it caused him to once again internally shout it out with his inner most thoughts. Matt was so busy wrestling with himself that he didn’t notice what a great time Chris and Tom seemed to be having together pratting about – the only presence he could sense was Dom’s and it was putting him on edge.  

The inevitable happened soon enough and the guys ran into some fans. Thankfully, they were very calm and it was easy enough for Matt to do a very convincing job of acting happy so he could interact with them without disappointing. They had had some horrendous experiences in the past where the people who met them were screaming, crying and rocking back and forth on the floor and it wasn’t a fun experience for any of the guys. In fact, it was pretty harrowing. The three French girls’ names were Lisa, Adèle and Mona and they were very pleasant. The same couldn’t be said for Dominic however, the already exasperated drummer could just about paint on a counterfeit smile to compliment his dead eyes. What an arsehole, Matt thought.

Matt decided he would have to confront Dom about this as soon as they got a moment alone together. He wasn’t necessarily doing it because he was that bothered about Dom’s attitude towards the fans; this event just became a reason to shout at Dom for _something_ , as he had technically not done anything wrong.

This confrontation came sooner than Matthew thought, as Dom rang their manager to get him picked up to be taken back to the hotel not long after the guys stopped to talk to fans. Chris and Tom planned to stay out and visit some places, the standard tourist attractions and a highly recommended café or two but that was it. The idea obviously didn’t enthral Dom and Matt wasn’t enthused either. So when the car came to pick up Dominic, Matt said his goodbyes to Wolstenholme and Kirk and to Dominic’s distaste joined him in leaving.

There was an initial long withdrawn awkward silence which only contributed to Matt’s growing frustration with the blond. Matt spoke first because he knew that the other man wouldn’t.

‘So…those girls were nice weren’t they?’ he asked casually.

Dom didn’t stop looking out of the window to reply to him, he didn’t even articulate a response, just grunted apathetically.

Undiscouraged, Matt went on. ‘You were a bit of a knob to them though’ Dominic finally stopped averting his gaze from the other man and looked at him incredulously.

‘Oh, really?’ his words were slowly and calmly delivered but dripping with venom. ‘And how did you work that out?’

It was Matt’s turn to give Dom the silent treatment now. Satisfied that he was able to rouse him from a state of emotional flat lining, Matthew lazily shrugged and turned away to smugly look out of the car window until they returned back to the hotel.

                                                            ***

It had not even been half an hour since Matt and Dom returned to their respective hotel rooms that Matt heard an urgent knocking on his door. It was the elusive Dominic Howard.

When Matt opened the door for him he didn’t even bother to wait to be granted entrance, he just stormed past leaving Matt puzzled at his surprise and brisk appearance in his room.

‘What the fuck was that about earlier?’ Dom angrily burst out in question before Matt even had the chance to shut the door.

‘What?’ Matt asked, still processing the situation in his brain and inadvertently sounding like he was feigning innocence.

‘You know what. That little bitchy remark back in the car’

‘Oh, that’

‘Yeah, that. You totally ignored me’ after hearing this, Matt couldn’t help but scoff.

‘Oh poor you, it’s not like you’ve not been doing the exact same thing to me ever since we left for this tour’ Matt pouted.

‘It’s not like you care though, is it?’ Dom’s gaze upon Matt became harsher, causing him discomfort.

‘Of course I care!’ Matt retorted with an uncertainty in his voice which he wasn’t sure came from genuine self-doubt or sprang purely from the conviction in Dom’s tone. This elicited a sigh from the drummer.

‘No, no you don’t’ his voice softened slightly in this moment before returning to his more confrontational and accusatory manner of speaking. ‘You only care that I’m ignoring you for your own selfish reasons. I doubt you actually give a shit about my feelings and what I’m going through. You forget how well I know you Matt, you never do.’ Matt opened his mouth to speak but closed it again as he took Dom’s words into account. He had a point, although he wasn’t completely accurate in this case he realised in other cases he was completely correct. He was pretty much correct for this case too if he was being honest; Matt was thinking more about his own feelings more that Dominic’s own. Without even meaning to, Matt had done it again. Classic, narcissistic Bellamy.

‘Listen, Dom, I know I’m a bit of a self-obsessed fuckwit sometimes-‘

‘Sometimes?’ Dom cut him off.

‘Alright, all the time, but-‘

‘But what? You’re going to change? Is that the bullshit you’re going to feed me? The same bullshit you’ve been feeding me since we were kids?’ Matt’s expression looked pained and his eyes fell soft on the blond man in a kind of way which was a step below pleading. They were asking him for a chance.

The drummer’s nostrils flared and Matt was reminded of how cute his moderately large nose was in that moment of dispute. He studied his face carefully, Matt started off this observation with intentions of maybe decoding what emotions were flickering in him in this silent stand-off but he ended up getting side tracked by his appearance. Dom hadn’t been paying particular attention to shaving lately, or a lot of self-care at all which meant his tanned, tired looking skin was graced with rugged dirty blonde stubble which nicely framed his thick, wide bowed pink lips. His strong prominent brow was furrowed slightly and his cheekbones were more noticeable than usual as he had been losing weight recently due to his emotional state.

Dom broke the silence then, speaking coolly with a deliberate measuredness of his words.

‘You, Matthew, always get you want. You’re selfish. Matthew wants to change the entire song; he changes the entire song without asking. Matthew wants to go to a restaurant we don’t; we all go to the damn restaurant. Matthew wants to fuck, and he fucks. He doesn’t care who it is. A random chick or his best friend, they all hold the same worth to him.’

Matt went cold and broke out in a clammy sweat under Dom’s glacial gaze and at the sound of his assured words.

‘I think it’s about time I got what I wanted, Matthew…you don’t just get to fuck me and treat me like shit. I think it’s time I teach you a much needed lesson.’ And with that, Dominic Howard removed his leather jacket to drop it on the floor dismissively and the whole world from that point was delivered from its suspended state and sped up more quickly than Matt Bellamy could hope to comprehend.


End file.
